if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
