She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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