Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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