The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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