its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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