ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
