well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
