There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
