sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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