the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize