is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
