I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
operation harelip BJ is a go
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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