i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
