Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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