The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
