I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
