Whod you bang
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my being single is dangerous.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
