is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wear drunk well.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
