p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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