Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
