That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
