D3 body, D1 cock
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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