what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
