I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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