I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
