i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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