Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize