did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
