Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
