I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
