Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
