They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
