there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
