The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
