Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
