If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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