I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
