I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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