am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
