just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
