She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
