I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize