Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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