i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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