What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Randomize
