I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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