; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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