We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
