Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
