All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
