I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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