is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i think i just lost a toe
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
