So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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