I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
