Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
