so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize