i just wanna soil my oats bro
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
