Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
