I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize