You really coming over, don't trick.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
