That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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