Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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