Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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