Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
