If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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