remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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