I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
