i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
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