i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
