I puked a lego.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
