ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
