Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize