And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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